I shared how I was bullied in school. My self esteem was non existent. During my master studies I found out my self esteem. Extra shy girl from school and girl in the collage are two different persons. I got my self esteem because I created a role for me. I change me from inside and it was for me.
I asked, “What do you usually do when you go to a networking event?” She said, “I stand awkwardly off to the side and wait to see if anyone will come talk to me.” I asked her, “What would you do differently if you felt confident?” and she said, “I’d initiate conversation and introduce myself to people.”
Right then and there, she discovered the solution to her problem: If she wanted to feel more confident, she had to act more confident.
- If you want to feel happier, do what happy people do—smile.
- If you want to get more work done, act as if you are a productive person.
- If you want to have more friends, behave like a friendly person.
- If you want to improve your relationship, practice being a good partner.
How to “Fake It” the Right Way
Acting “as if” doesn’t mean being phony or inauthentic. It’s about changing your behavior first and trusting the feelings will follow. As long as your motivation is in the right place, faking it until you make it can effectively make your goals become reality. Just make sure you’re interested in changing yourself on the inside, not simply trying to change other people’s perceptions of you.
Hopefully creating a role for you will help you became person you wish to be.